Acquiescence

Acquiescence (*this is still a work in progress...)
by Minette, © November 1, 2006

We started, 2 buffoons thrown together in desperate circumstance; both escaping our colored pasts that had perhaps plagued each of us; causing ourselves to build our brick walls that kept us isolated from each other.

Hardly knowing each other, two like beings (or so it seemed) thrown together in the midst of chaos, dancing towards a slow peaceful waltz of volatile emotions.

Sharp tounged, at first we battled wits; but with one quick swoop, our lips touched despite scathing remarks in between; leaving me pleasantly baffled at the irony of it all. That was our “game”. That was our “thing”.

In one swift motion, without thinking of the consequences, I pushed you away while each of us pretended to hate the other more.. yet, I felt great relief when you seized me once more and touched yet again amidst warm caresses between sarcastic breaths.

In reality, I had dreamed of that moment – of you reaching out to me and holding me in your eternal embrace. I still regret that I hadn’t followed through; and it changed our destiny forever.

(break in thought..)

Yet, you came back even though you’ve chosen to remain within the warmth of your cocoon. We continued to linger and tease, growing distant with each ticking of the clock. We continued to repel despite the strong magnetism between us.

I TRUSTED that sooner or later, you’d break free and morph into a butterfly so I remained patient and stood by watching.

‘Til then, you’ve kept the embers of my fire burning, while I’ve waited to explode from the tips of Mt. St. Helen.

In every rising moment, my feelings only intensified further; not knowing then that it was climaxing towards uncertainty.

I’ve allowed you into my domicile and I was naïve enough to let you break through my barriers.

I’ve appreciated every color between blinks, let your touch linger between rest and smell you between breaths; as the movie in my mind continued to play out – wishing wistfully that this will someday be more real than what was already right before my eyes.

I wasn’t looking for you to give me your soul. Far from that, I wasn’t even looking for you to open your heart to me.

All I wanted was to appreciate every waking moment with you --- when I thought that I was complacent simply having “my best friend”.

(break in thought..)

I gave you my unyielding LOYALTY.

Somewhere along the way, my uncompromising truths suddenly became half truths to you; obstructed as you’ve allowed lying whispers to break through your fence rather than following my voice and believing in me.

I had faith in you.. yet, you’ve blindsided me as you’ve allowed Judas’ kiss to touch my skin, leaving me stranded in the midst of the Ides of March.

You’ve pushed me back into my hearth, the embers slowly turned to dark ashes; no longer finding the warmth and safety you’ve once offered.

(break in thought..)

If I can only rewind; I would have played it differently.

I would have had the courage to tell you sooner how much you’ve meant to me… how much I’ve truly loved you despite your beliefs that I am nothing more than a cold-hearted soul.

I would have stood my ground and fought my way despite my injured spirit.

You’ve broken me down to the very core… yet, I remain here standing so that I can tell you; I am not angry despite Brutus’ sharp pierce. I haven’t lost my confidence in you… not completely. Perhaps you even know the truth by now.

If you are listening; notwithstanding the fear of my words falling upon deaf ears.. I scream outloud... I just want to see you happy despite my acquiescence.

Irony

Irony, by Minette ©September 19, 2006

Be still; I write on nothing...

When there is nothing left to say, I’m left with endless sputter;
No rhyme nor reason to any words, just short of speechless stutter.

When there is nothing left to say, my mind is left in wonder;
Of things to contemplate in life, of search on what is ‘yonder.

When there is nothing left to say, my mind is left in lock;
And yet I write these senseless words as I suffer from writer’s block.

Life Forces

Life Forces, Minette ©July 16, 2006

I shop like a mad man, I'm too laid back for my own good,
And I need two of everything when it comes to my food.
I don’t show my jealousy and act like I don’t care,
You might even think I’m selfish, but I do always share.

I tend to be difficult when I don’t want you to see,
What’s really inside me and who I can be.
I say quite the opposite of how I really feel,
‘Coz truth of the matter is, I don’t know how to deal.

I talk like a machine gun and rant like a loon,
But I’m willing to be quiet and just listen to tunes.
I get giddy and jumpy when you come to mind,
Then I say the wrong things and catch you dead blind.

I like to be spontaneous and I tend to be late,
And though I hadn’t meant to, I know I made you wait.
I’m not a huge planner nor carry lists of what to do,
But I’m willing to compromise and change that for you.

Though I seem like a social butterfly, I wine and I dine,
You’ll see it’s a façade once I have your time.
I’m a huge movie junkie and I like to write,
And stare at the stars on a nice moonlit night.

I don’t tend to kiss, when only once on a date,
But twice is the number where you don’t have to wait.
With you I learn patience and learn how to trust,
So I leave things wide open and do what I must.

Sometimes things are stagnant with no reason or rhyme,
But aberrations do happen, only tested by time.
So I’ll wait ‘til tomorrow, I’ll be here ‘til it’s late
Just don’t take forever, and I promise I’ll wait.

Voyage

Voyage, by Minette ©June 23, 2006

I sat there in anticipation looking out the plane window, mapping out the states leading me towards South Carolina.

I marveled at whether or not the roads I saw below will be amongst the ones I will touch on when I embark upon my voyage.

I looked out the window and saw the engine throttling at full force against the luscious sea of pure white glistening against the shining sun… and all I could think about was my “road trip”.

I wondered, where will this journey take me?

Will it be the beginning of something more beautiful than the deep red and purple of the Aruba sunsets I’d just witnessed just less than a month ago? Or, will it be the symbol to the ending of a path less traveled?

I contemplated as I stared out the window watching the droplets of rain trickling down the window… what is on the other side of the road?

I searched for some feeling and I realized... I am afraid. What if I find that my anticipated destination does not exist?

Either way, a suite awaited for me at an isolated island by the remote ocean side… my own private world.

I learn to be patient. Only time will tell where this wonderful excursion called “life” will take me.

Standing Proud

Standing Proud, by Minette ©June 11, 2006

I stand here before you,
my kind and my kin
Knowing my identity,
proud of my skin.
I am Filipino-American
standing on my rock
On American soil,
I’ve found my good luck.

But every now and then,
I feel something’s a-miss
When I hear my name
whispered from across Pacific mist
From a-top Mount Makiling
through tall Intramuros walls
Up Banawe Rice Terraces,
then back down Pagsanjan Falls.

The Pearl of the Orient is calling
from the depths of Taal lake
Volcano within volcano,
my soul suddenly awakes:
“Come home my dear child,
your country awaits,
Don’t forget where you came from,
it’s never too late”!

We have beautiful Manila sunsets
that span across Boracay shores
I hear the voice calling,
of the Motherland I adore.
I am Filipino-American
and I am proud as can be.
I may live in the land of plenty,
but the Philippines never left me.

Work In Progress

Work In Progress, by Minette ©2005

A blank canvas in my heart and mind
waiting to be filled with what my future beholds
with beauty and love in kind.

Slowly gaining strength as I seek for my soul once more
while the greater being above constantly guides me still
.... and leads me through the path of that hopeful door.

Not One of Mine

…obviously, but one of my all time favorites never the less… (*thanks for pointing my mistake out "Crashtest Comic", I ought to be ashamed of myself for INCORRECTLY titling one of my all time favorite poems, but mistaking it of course for one of my all time favorite pieces. Actually, it was much thanks to an analogy made by an old English Professor... I was either falling asleep or HIGH :-P)

“Khubla Khan”
Or, A Vision in a Dream. A Fragment.
-by Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1816)

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through cavern measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round.
And there were gardens, bright with sinous rills,
Where blossomed, many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athward a cedarn caver!
A savage place! As holy and enchanted
A e’er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon lover!
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing
A mighty fountain momently was forced:
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher’s flail:
And ‘mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean:
And ‘mid the tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war!
The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.
It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!

A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw:
It was an Abyssinian maids,
And on her dulcimer she played.
Singig of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony song,
To such a deep delight ‘twould win me,
That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! Those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of paradise.

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Um .. yeah, if you thought he was high when this was written, you're not alone. I thought so too.. but I love it all the same! I think he was though, on some kind of pain killers or something other...